The Little Shepherd

I really felt I have the charisma that people have no qualms opening up to me and even reveal their dark secrets. I felt honoured though there were also exception to the rule. There are still some when not asked, will not tell you that they are committing sins that are unacceptable especially to the community I belong to. Although we don't expel members but we firmly stand that co-habitation is a big no no. Simply because it is a big temptation to commit pre-marital sex and also to promote pure love. In our community, men are taught to be knights who would protect their ladies. And this only mean to protect their name, their dignity, not only on the physical aspect. Ladies meanwhile were taught that we are meant to be pursued. Both are encouraged to remain pure until receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony. I know that the world dictates otherwise. That's why it is not surprising that a lot of young members are into this. My previous household had also this dilemma but we were blessed because after some time they were married. I remember there also came a time when they came to us and asked for advise because they have financial difficulties since living expenses here in SG is high and it is an option for them to live in same room. I seek an advise from a religious and therefore gave a sound advise to them. That is to add one more person in their room so that temptation will be lessen. They are now transitioning in CFC and I'm just a proud spiritual mom. Anyway, my current household have the same dilemma too. Though I don't normally ask after CLP if they still do pre-marital sex or living in, there were just circumstances that their secrets were just coming out. As usual they are hard-headed and have so many reasons why they are doing it. What really blew my mind was when they told me that another household head told them that it was okay to co-habitate since everybody in SFC is doing it and he even have a girl in his room. I want to strangle his neck that very moment! I'm in the verge of leaving the community since it has given me an impression that they are not living the teachings of the church any more if even the new heads have these kind of mindset. I just knew in my heart that wherever I go, I will grow in faith and love with the Lord. I still have small faith that somehow they will instil in my members an introduction about the Great God we know. Prayers do work in wonder. My Unit Head talked to me about it and surprised to hear what my member reported about the household head who have made such remarks. She reassure me that we are still align and that pre-marital/co-habitation is still a big no no. The household head will now be investigated and will undergo pastoral correction. We don't judge people but we don't tolerate either. If there are some weeds in the plantation, isn't it best to remove it so that there will be growth. I told my household we are all sinners but we despise sinning. As much as possible we should strive not to commit them as our response to the great love God has been giving us through the years. I really don't know if I'm called in pastoral service since my heart is heavy listening to their decisions. I guess I really need a helping hand from the saints and rest in the God's bosom. I cried a lot how these people would turn their back from God. But what can I do. Even God don't force them to love Him.

My Way of Evangelising

Last week I cannot contain my emotions any longer as my friend has keep on posting things against the Catholic faith. I simply asked him if that is their only way of evangelising since I know as Christians we are called to do so. I then proposed to ask their head if they can do workshops on loving corrections if they think people are committing sins. Their style of preaching for me is condemning the people. I really don't know how some would fall on these. Perhaps they have many questions inside their heads and upon hearing these people will ignited further and thought that that were the best answers. One friend told me the best way to seek for answers is to ask the spiritual adviser of that denomination. It is unfavorable to rushed to different denominations simply because their explanations are against on the teachings of the denomination you belong to. For me is to get both information and pray for the best answer. Before I would go on details debating my own belief on them until I could feel my face in redness anger. But recently I can say I have changed. I've been calm and not really answering them. I know these people are not asking questions because they are confused but they are doing these to ridicule my faith. And the questions will be non-stopped until they get you. I even told my spiritual adviser that I think my calling is not on evanglising through preaching. I feel exhausted easily explaining to these people who just testing my knowledge and I felt betrayal that my faith is not respected in spite of what I have shown. Nevertheless I have no qualms defending my faith if I think I am called to do so. I'm happy that I was able to determine if the person really needed the information and would be glad if I would be of help. My mission I think is to let people know and feel how important they are regardless of their faith. They don't need to convert to my own religion but just feel the love out of God has been giving me through the years. I believe it is Jesus who is working for the conversion of people. Though the transformation is in our hands. Yes we are all been given freewill and we must always keep in mind that we cannot push our beliefs on others. Our mission first is to love one another.

My Soul Wellness

I have attended recently a charism workshop and glad that I did since my questions regarding spiritual gifts were answered. I guess that I have not listened attentively during my Life in Spirit Seminar or even the Christian Life Program that I have these perplexed questions on how to identify each gift. My actual experiences have let me realize how these works and how God has blessed me these so I can be more emphatic and loving. I thank Him for the perfect timing, now that I'm ready to listen. It is quite a fruitful day with all day of worshipping in tongues. Able also to practice prophecy through being sensitive to what message we had received during the session. It may be in the form of images or words. And I find it amazing that after all these years, the same gift that I've been desiring is already in me. I just don't know what the manifestations. I just can't wait for the next level of workshop. I really felt special knowing that the God has given us these gifts for us to feel special and to do a unique mission. 

I also attended Crossroads Retreat by Cenacle Sisters. It is a relaxing retreat since I was able to sleep well and though I admit the long hours of contemplation have bore me a lot but I was able to realize what I value most and help me to discern for my future. I guess that I needed to attend silent retreat more so I can really enjoy God's presence. I will be joining them in Changmai next year for the Quieting the Soul Retreat which is eight days actually. I can't this year since I have allotted my vacation leaves already for Christmas break. I just hope that in the remaining years of my life I will do it to the full. And I can feel I'm in tune with the Lord.