Respect and Friendship

It has been a roller coaster ride at work. But today I finally saw the root cause. I was yearning for acceptance and friendship that I removed the line from being a boss to being their friend. I find it difficult now to command especially with respect since they can just say whatever they wanted. I got the real picture or should not since I am their boss. Am I putting this all in my head? Perhaps but apparently they were not listening to me if they think I'm wrong and even say it out loud. Where is respect there? I couldn't imagine if they will do it to our reporting manager. I gave them freedom. I gave them my confidence. But I think I should draw again the line.

Next is I cannot feel anymore my Singapore community. Don't know if physically not present there means we were cutting out ties. That is why there were moments I felt the friendship is not real. Perhaps not really at all.

Quarantine Realizations

Its day thirty seven of our enhanced community quarantine. We were blessed because most of the chores are still being done by our parents inspite of their senior years. All we have to do was work from home using our laptop and attend conference calls. We seldom ate canned goods and I think it helps in fighting illnesses and raising our immune systems too. I cannot complain though with the life I have right now. There were so many bad things happened to me but I'm glad I was able to see now blessings in my life. It still not perfect but livable. If I wish for anything is more of for my family and for my personal wishes would include good health, promotion, wealth and a husband. I'm really wishing too much but I know I have to be honest when praying to God too. I no longer have apprehensions while praying and can be myself. I still got angry though. On some occasion when my ex was mentioned and how good his life now. I want to stop the comparison and I just want to live my own life. I don't want to be miserable for things he has that I don't have. If I have to change things I would rather not get involved with him. Though he is a great lesson in my life. He made me strong and wise. He is the reason I know now there are people who cannot be trusted. I learned not to trust people especially if I knew from the start that they are opportunists. Life is too short to dwell on anger and I pray I can get over him and be able to forgive and forget. I only pray after this quarantine we all are safe and happy to face the world again.