I attended the first session of the Renewal of the Holy Spirit in our parish and it reminded me again how I am blessed as a child of God and that I am His Champion. My own uniqueness is enough to share the love He shown and to have the purpose of living this life to the fullest. I remember writing two books about the anxiety I once have because of searching for the purpose of life and finding the love of God made a difference in my perceptions on things. But what struck me most last night was and was also timely because I'm now jobless.. to surrender to God for my life direction. It seems hard to really trust in the Lord at this moment. That's why with all my effort I tried to look for work and even disappointed when I cannot get one. I have the tendency to give up and plan even to go back to my home country and settle there. As I ponder, these would only mean two things. To stay here for a few years more and continue what I've been doing as my service to God and my household or to go back and start anew, leaving my comfort zone and try what I could really be useful in God's community. Indeed my 2017 started with a loud bang, shaking my once quiet world and full of surprises. I was in tears though last night for I heard Father Terrence told everyone there is somebody who is now healed from anxiety and I claimed it is me. I'm not agitated anymore or paranoid of what I don't know of. I seems have focus and aware of my situation now even though it is tough times. I'm not panicking that I don't still have work and February is coming quick! Somehow I have hopes that God would not forsaken me and would be my provider. He will surely take care of me. What I hoping for is to truly answer to His call and really live this life in full.
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