Pandemic and Me

 More than a year living in the pandemic made me realize how blessed I am and grateful for all the answered prayers especially for the protection. I had learned to accept during these time my parents and siblings, our differences and that there are things that I cannot changed. Life has been livable ever since.

I was diagnosed last 2002 with psychosis then 2004 with major depression. Now I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Dropping all the labels, I am grateful I have lived this path. Religion has been my trigger but it let me realized how thirst I am to know about God. At 26 I know I loved this God but deep in my heart I knew too that I failed Him many times. What great to know is that no matter what, I am loved by Him. At 30 I struggled to know myself. Hand in hand I learned about God and I also discovered about myself. It seems I almost liked all and I can do all. Yes I am multi-talented. But what really surprised me is that I was given a choice which I seldom used. Now life has been so beautiful. I am His Child and His Beloved. I guess the last strand would be accepting the people around me and it is hard to change a person. Change is the only permanent in this world and it is up to the person if s/he wants a change. All I can do is for myself. I gained a lot of wisdom in these journey so I guess I wouldn't regret being diagnosed with mental illness because this paves the way for me to get out of my shell. I felt liberated and gain confidence now. I can speak, I can ask and I can just be myself. 

Pandemic is another event I cannot easily forget. Before this happened, I wished that everybody could just work from home due to tiresome going to office everyday. I know it is an impossible request. And guess when Pandemic happened last 2020 it gave me a big surprised. I have to shake myself that all were coincidence and I didn't mean all those deaths. I am grateful God has given me intelligence because I wouldn't surpass the ordeal of all coincidence happened in  my life. I've been a good analyst! Well its been my job through the years. What good brought about this event is that I have the confidence to join Youtube. Who knows, I can be famous too.