The thing that resonates me this very moment is the words spoken by my mother earlier that it is only money so why make so many fuss about it. I feel bad about myself as if I am selfish but I knew deep inside she is wrong. As I ponder now, if money is not that really important then why are we working our ass? The root cause of the problem is actually being responsible. She took that away the day she didn't teach her children on standing their own two feet. I am somewhat still dependent but tried myself to handle my own problems especially financially. I have my own home where I can go back to. But my homegrown sisters are still under their wings. My own drama is that I was raised by my grandmother and the reason I have detachment on my parents pre-depression. I then see life as meaningless. Only to be reminded that it is all about love. When I did my research while I was in Singapore. I prayed hard that the Lord will teach me more of it as I fail to understand the meaning of life now. I just learned to live by the moment and enjoy things as possible as I can. So is this all about money? Perhaps but I guess growing up differently is my own share of having a hard life. I've been helping and sacrificing my happiness and setting aside my needs. Yet I still lack in my mother's eyes. While my sisters they got all the support since they are in need financially. In the end she will run to me because I am the only one who can understand and give. As I remember words of Saint Terrsa love until it hurts.
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