Sharing Him to the World

I grew up in the environment that I must be responsible with all things I would speak and do. The advantage of this set up is that I became conscious and evaluate critically what need to be shared and what not need to do. Although the disadvantages include difficulty in expressing myself, being reserve and over critical on my mistakes. As I ponder I realize this is the root cause why I had depression because I failed to call attention of my love ones that I have something to say. I bottled up all the feelings inside and all my queries were left unanswered at that time. The only consolation of having depression is that I learn to help myself. I learn to be me, to love myself, to dream again and to find the answers on my questions. As years passed I became confident again and now sure of who I am. Though I am still critical with myself but I tend now to see the benefit of being one. That is to be sensitive too in whatever I say or do and not hurt others. 

I am grateful that all my realizations are align to the faith I have chosen. Recently I ponder why I turned 360 degree regarding God's love. Before, I also felt unworthy to be loved and guilty of self-condemnation. The full acceptance of Christ's love for me by reminding myself everyday that He loves me even if I commit mistakes and even how ugly I am have made a difference. Yesterday a brother has felt that he is unworthy too of God's love. I guess this is common to all of us who are into renewal. I ponder more and as I look back why I am now one of those people who can testify the enormous love of God. As I look at the cross, I know now the answer that no one else can argue. Realizing what Christ did on the cross would convince anybody how much He loves us. Who are we to reject such kind of love. Who are we to say we are unworthy. Yes we are indeed unworthy but many years ago He chose us and He did it already. It is shameful to reject what is now freely given. The unconditional love of Christ on the cross. This morning I saw an inspiring wisdom from famous Christian preacher and I am at awe that he also say something about the cross as a  proof of God's  love. Indeed the truth can always be tested over and over again. I guess I am blessed to have a beautiful mind to think such things and been affirmed by God.

My only challenge  now is to be patient, understanding and merciful to those who are lukewarm and have superficial issues with the Lord. I cringe every time I hear wrong perceptions for I know now His nature. But I guess He have mold me through the years that even though I still have uneasy feelings but I am mindful of my words and actions so to be still lovingly answers my brethren. I still continue on my learnings and my hunger and thirst for God has made a big difference for whatever knowledge I have now. And the best part is, He planted in my heart to share everything to the world.